The Road Not Traveled
by KatieF-House
Summary: What if the morning of "Bombshells" had taken a different turn? Here is a version of a road that wasn't traveled that day. Definitely House/Cuddy focused, but will include Wilson, Rachel, Arlene, Julia, House's team and others along the way.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hi to all who have stumbled across this new fic. It's my first time writing a House fic, so please hang in there with me as I try to capture the characters. Like many of you, I was so disappointed with the turn the season took after Bombshells. I've often wondered, "What if…?" So I decided to write my own answer to that question. Not sure where this is going, but figured I'd take a shot at it. I've been so entertained by countless writers on here so I wanted to add my own contribution! Thanks for reading. :) -Katie

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><p>Cuddy answered her alarm's early morning chirping with a slight groan as she reached to turn it off. The mornings seemed to come earlier and earlier these days. It probably had to do with House keeping her up later and later - not that she minded, but he certainly didn't need to be aware of that little fact. His ego was unbearable enough as it was.<p>

House. Even in her morning grogginess, she couldn't help but smile as she thought of him. He drove her insane 90% of the time, but the other 10% he made her so euphoric that she barely cared about his antics. In fact, they almost made her love him even more. He was one of a kind - and he was hers. With a deep sigh, Cuddy reached over to wake the man in question but was surprised to find his side of the bed lacking not only a body, but the warmth caused by someone recently being there. "House?" she questioned, waking up with more ease now. Where was he? He wouldn't have left in the middle of the night - and he'd obviously been out of the bed for awhile, so it wasn't likely he was just in the bathroom. "House?" she called again, when she received no answer.

Definitely time to get up, she sighed to herself. Slowly she pulled her tired - she'd felt abnormally tired for days now, even forgoing her usual yoga routine for a few extra minutes of rest - body up and stretched. She didn't have time for exhaustion though. There was breakfast to prepare for Rachel, she had to get ready and dressed for a full day of meetings at PPTH herself - and now she had a boyfriend to find. Finally, she stood, ready to make her way to the restroom before she started on her many quests. And with only one step, she was able to cross one of her tasks off her things-to-do list.

"Oh!" Cuddy yelped as something - or rather, someone - grabbed her foot.

Before she had time to decide whether to be scared or annoyed, House's head popped out from under her bed. "Gotcha!" he grinned. Decision made: annoyed.

"Seriously?" Cuddy replied, shaking her foot loose and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. House couldn't help but grin even broader. He loved watching her wake up and thanks to her insane love of 5am, it was something he rarely had the chance to do. She looked so young and innocent - and had non of her normal Cuddy-walls up that she'd have momentarily as she prepared to face her day. Her exasperated sigh made him refocus his thoughts. "Seriously, House? Did you wake up early just to scare the crap out of me?"

He grinned again. On a scale of 1-10, he only gave her a three when it came to annoyance levels. "I set an alarm and everything."

And there it was. Another one of his crazy antics that should drive her mad, but all she could do was roll her eyes and smile herself. House was a powerful drug; she'd realized that early on. "It's like dating a 10-year-old," she said. He was obviously proud of himself - and she found it adorable… and maybe even a little sexy.

"God, I hope not," House quipped, indeed proud of himself as he watched her lower her sublime body to the floor and wrap her arms around him.

For a moment, Cuddy got lost in the heated kisses they were sharing on the floor. Sure, it wasn't the most comfortable position in the world - and he'd surely hate himself later when his leg yelled at him for this little stunt - but this was one of the things she loved most about him. The passion they shared was always spontaneous, always unpredictable, and, simply put, _always_ there. They fit together so perfectly - in so many way. She'd never _kissed _another man that fit as well in her mouth as House did. She'd never been held by another man that fit beside her as well as he did. And she had certainly never had sex with anyone who fit so perfectly inside of her. Lisa Cuddy didn't believe in fate or love-at-first-sight, but even she had to admit, so many things about her relationship with Greg House just seemed…right.

"Since we're already down here, what do you say we…"

She wanted nothing more than to take their make-out session to a steamier level, but she couldn't ignore her screaming bladder any longer. Cuddy pulled away from House with an apologetic kiss on the nose. "Hold that thought," she requested.

"Seriously?" he groaned as he watched her stand up.

"I have to pee!"

It was House's turn to roll his eyes as she made her way up completely and started to run in the direction of the bathroom. Before he had a chance to form his next smart ass remark, however, he heard a sound he'd hear echoed in his mind over and over for months to come.

Cuddy immediately stopped in her tracks when the intense pain hit her. She cried out in agony as she folded at the waist. Neither one of them would ever be able to figure out how House - bum leg and all - managed to extract himself from under the bed and get to his feet as quickly as he did, but within seconds he was up and at her side. Cuddy flinched as he wrapped his arm around her - a move House made more for her stability than comfort - and instant tears slipped down her cheeks. He could count the times on one hand he'd seen Cuddy cry, and never had it been due to physical pain. "Something's wrong…" she choked out, folding even further as the pain worsened. "Oh, God…"

House was a world-famous Diagnostician. He'd never in his entire life been at a loss for words - especially when it came to a medical situation. But seeing Cuddy - his Cuddy - in such obvious and unexplained pain had cut him to his core. And when he glanced down, he became even more frozen with fear.

Blood.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N - WOW! I wasn't expecting much feedback at all, so I was so overwhelmed by all of the encouraging comments and added alerts. Thank you all so much for reading and for the kind reactions. I'm having fun planning this story out. Hope you continue to enjoy!

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><p>Instinct overrode panic within seconds and House's fingers went straight to Cuddy's cartaroid. Too fast. Way too fast. "Cuddy, you have to take a deep breath for me. Let's get you to the bed and I'll call for help. Where's the pain?" Instead of a response, Cuddy's body went limp in his arms. "Cuddy?" House asked frantically. "Cuddy!"<p>

With more effort than he would have liked (thanks to his own physical limitations, not Cuddy's petite frame) House lifted her body into his arms and carried her the few steps to the bed. With one hand he reached for his cell phone, dialing 911, and the other began his own limited exam.

"Get an ambulance to 3212 Strickland Dr. immediately," he barked, as soon as the dispatcher picked up. "40 year old female, tachycardic, severe abdominal pain, unconscious…" The dispatcher tried to interrupt with prepared instructions, but House stopped her before she could get her scripted sentence out. "I'm a doctor. Just get the damn ambulance here - now!" he ordered.

The phone snapped shut and House turned his attention fully on his unconscious girlfriend. "An ambulance is on its way, Cuddy," he assured her. Though since she was completely out, the assurance was more for himself. "Just hang on," he dictated as he focused more on his own exam.

When he glanced up to check the time, he saw Rachel's baby monitor instead. "Shit!" he exclaimed, punching ferociously at his phone again.

Wilson picked up on the second ring. "House? Did hell freeze over? What are _you_ doing up so early?"

"Get to Cuddy's immediately," he demanded, wasting no time with small talk. "Ambulance is on the way, but I can't leave the damn kid here by herself - and I sure as hell am not taking her with us."

"Whoa, slow down. Ambulance? What's going on?" Even while he was trying to clear his worried confusion, Wilson, ever the obedient friend, was getting dressed and grabbing his keys. He could be at Cuddy's within seven minutes if he sped.

"Severe abdominal pain and tachycardic. Cuddy lost consciousness. There's also vaginal bleeding."

Wilson was running out the door as he tried to process the information. "Vaginal bleeding? Abdominal pain? Is she… House, is she pregnant?" There is no way in hell House would have kept something like that from him. At least Wilson was almost certain he wouldn't. House was incapable of keeping a secret, especially one that involved Cuddy. But then again, if Cuddy was pregnant, House might not consider that a good thing. Maybe he hadn't wanted to tell anyone, least of all Wilson.

"No!" he answered quickly - almost too quickly. "No, she's not pregnant. I mean I don't thi- NO. No, she's not pregnant. Just get here!" With that, House ended the call and focused on the dire situation in front of him.

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><p>Wilson arrived moments after the ambulance and assured House he'd stay with Rachel (who thankfully slept through all of the chaos) until Marina arrived. From there, House felt like he entered what would become the longest hours of his life. They arrived at PPTH and Cuddy was immediately rushed into an exam room. She was bleeding internally thanks to a ruptured fallopian tube. The diagnosis was clearly correct, as House looked over the younger ER doctor's shoulder at the ultrasound machine. "Tubal," the doctor added sadly. House just nodded.<p>

The diagnostician only said one thing: "I want her in surgery. Now."

Dr. Fisher, the ER chief of staff - as soon as the staff heard it was the Dean of Medicine being transported in, they made sure the best was there waiting on her - nodded in agreement. "OR 1," he ordered, and the orderlies rushed her out to begin surgical preparation.

A short time later House was standing atop the OR observation deck. He tried to focus on what was going on below him and try not to think about _why_ it was happening. An ectopic pregnancy. Cuddy was _pregnant_. He wasn't sure which was bothering him most - the fact that she was pregnant and _he_ hadn't realized it, or the idea of her simply being pregnant thanks to his sperm in the first place. Whatever the case, it certainly didn't matter anymore. Now the woman he cared most about in the world was lying on an operating table while surgeons tried to fix the damage the wayward fetus had caused.

He was pulled from his own thoughts when the surgeon spoke through the intercom, "We can't repair this damage, House. I have to remove the tube."

House swallowed and took a deep breath. Cuddy was going to be devastated. It's not like they'd even discussed having children. He certainly didn't want any - he was just getting to where he tolerated the one she already had - but he knew it was the one thing she had always desperately wanted that her body had failed her on over and over again. And now…

He used the end of his cane to press the intercom button. "Do it," he said, turning away. They had no choice medically, and he knew that.

Wilson barged in a few seconds later. He was out of breath, obviously having sprinted his way up to the observation deck. "Marina's with Rachel," he managed to get out, then glanced down at the OR room and back at House. "What's going on? Is she okay?"

House had never been more relived to see Wilson in his life. He grabbed his cane and nodded. "Salpingectomy," he stated then turned toward the door. "I have to get out of here. You stay. Make sure those idiots don't make one wrong move. And let me know when she's out."

Before Wilson could even blink, House was out the door and limping down the hall. "House!" he called after him. But it was no use; he wasn't coming back. Wilson sunk in the first chair in the deck and ran his hands over his uncombed hair. He settled back, watching the surgery as instructed all while worrying about _both_ of his friends.

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><p>House escaped to his office. His leg was absolutely killing him, but that didn't stop him from pacing the short length of his suite, going over the past couple of hours and trying to make sense of them. Just a few hours ago things were fine. Cuddy was fine. He was more than fine. <em>They<em> were fine. And now? What had happened? Here he was trying to absorb the bombshells that had been forced upon them, and Cuddy was upstairs having an organ that had betrayed her removed.

She had been pregnant. How had he not noticed? How had _she_ not noticed? He stopped his pacing momentarily as a thought forced its way into his mind. _Had_ she known? Could Cuddy have been aware of the pregnancy all along? No. Not possible… She wouldn't have kept that life-changing piece of information to herself… would she? She could have been afraid of his reaction, and rightfully so. He himself was not even attempting to go down that path right now. How he would have reacted or handled the news wasn't something he even wanted to think about. He shook the thoughts from his head and limped out the door. No, Cuddy couldn't have known… And his possible reaction didn't matter. It was pointless now anyway.

He unconsciously grabbed at his thigh as he limped toward the elevator. It was like his body was on a mission of its own. He quickly found himself in Cuddy's office. House tried to tell himself it was because he needed to be close to her in some way, but he knew the truth. He knew exactly why he had bolted to the Dean's office.

House headed straight to her bookshelf and started pulling the books out one by one. Where the hell had he left them? He knew not to hide anything in his office - it would have definitely been searched at the time - but Cuddy's office was safe. This last resort had been hidden well before they got together. The tiny bottle of solace he was in search of had been unknowingly on Cuddy's bookshelf for years now.

Finally he found it and pulled it out with a deep breath of relief. He all but collapsed in the chair beside him as his hand wrapped around the tiny orange pill bottle. It fit so perfectly - it always had. In his two years of sobriety, House had only been tempted once before, and Cuddy had been there to save him that time. Not now. She wouldn't be stopping him. In fact, she was the reason his body craved the Vicodin. His leg was indeed hurting him more than usual, but that wasn't why House found his hands shaking in desperate need of the drug. He _hated_ being in pain. But he finally found a pain worse than the chronic physical pain he suffered on a daily basis: seeing _Cuddy _in pain. It had nearly killed him seeing her in such physical pain earlier, and logically he knew the emotional pain she would endure as soon as she woke up would be even worse. He couldn't handle it. He couldn't.

He popped the cap and poured one of the perfect pills in his hand, playing with it in his fingers instead of immediately taking it. It would numb him, push the pain away. He wanted that desperately. He _needed_ that. Just one little pill and he could do this. Just one. That's all. He just needed one to get through what was to come. He needed it to not only deal with the aftermath, but process everything that had happened in the past hours. His eyes found a picture of Cuddy and Rachel on the bookshelf beside him. He looked from the picture, to the pill in his hand and back to the picture again, almost like he was in the middle of a tennis match.

"Don't. Don't do it House."

House's head snapped to immediate attention as Wilson entered Cuddy's office and his eyes met his best friend's. "What the hell are you thinking?"

House turned his attention back to the Vicodin resting between his thumb and index finger. "Surgery over?" he deflected.

"She's in recovery," Wilson answered. He took a step toward House, trying to stay calm, despite the unbelievable sight before him. "Everything went fine. They had to do a minilaparotomy, so recovery will be a bit longer, but she's okay. And they only removed the one fallopian tube." He paused and sat across from House. "You don't want to do this, House."

"Oh, really?" House snapped. "Because I'm thinking I do."

"Don't throw away the last two years. She needs you too much right now." Wilson knew it was pointless to try and focus on House and how detrimental it could be to him. But if he focused on Cuddy, he had a chance. "She just lost a baby."

"She didn't lose a baby," House interjected. "It was a fetus. A fertilized egg - and, just so we're clear, an egg that wasn't smart enough to make it into the womb-hotel to unpack its bags and take up residence. No, it had to make itself at home in the damn parking lot. She did _not _lose a baby."

"You and I both know she won't see it that way."

"She's a doctor! She might push paper for a living now, but Cuddy's a doctor, of course she'll see it that way."

"She's a mother, House."

House glanced up at Wilson and then, with an exasperated and pained sigh, back to the pill in his hand.

"She's a mother, and she just lost a child. Even if it's a child she didn't know she was having, she lost another chance at a baby - at _your_ baby, even if you're too wrapped up in your own denials to look at that fact right now. The point is, she's going to need you. Stop being so damn selfish and go in there and hold her hand. You know she'd be there for you. Hell, she _has_ been there for you. She needs you, House. And if you take that pill, she won't allow herself to need you anymore, we both know that. Don't do that to her - and don't do it to yourself. Cuddy is the best thing that's ever happened to you. Don't screw it up."

House looked up and glared at Wilson. But to Wilson's credit, he didn't break the eye contact. It was almost a battle of wills. Finally, House laboriously stood up and threw the pill and pill bottle at Wilson. "Mind your own damn business," he barked and limped out of the room.

Wilson let out a long breath he didn't even realize he had been holding. He'd won. At least for now, he knew that was House's way of acknowledging that Wilson was right. A nagging ache in his gut told him a war was about to begin, but he at least knew this first battle had been won.

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><p>Half an hour later, Cuddy was in her own private room - and House was by her side. His attention was pulled from the differential he was conducting on the blank wall when heard slight movement from her bed followed by a small moan. Cuddy's eyes had yet to open, but she was clearly coming out from under her anesthesia. He momentarily wished he <em>had<em> taken that Vicodin. At least then he'd be numb and wouldn't have to witness what he knew was about to come. But he shook the thought from his head as quickly as it entered. He could hear Wilson's annoying voice in his mind. And as much as he hated to admit it, Wilson was right - he and Cuddy were in this together. She deserved no less, especially right now. With that thought, House took a deep breath, then a step toward her bed. There was no avoiding it anymore.

In a tender move, House gently leaned down over her, brushed the hair from her face and kissed Cuddy's forehead. With effort, she slowly opened her eyes, determined to fight past the haze to reach the familiar touch.

When blue eventually locked on blue, House finally spoke. "Don't try to move too much," he instructed. He didn't sound at all like a doctor, though; he sounded like a worried loved one.

"What happened?" Cuddy asked. Her voice was so hoarse that House used the opportunity to poor her a glass of water instead of answering her question.

She took a small sip as he held the straw up to her lips. "An appendectomy?" Cuddy wondered aloud, trying to piece together the facts she had through the heaviness of the lingering anesthesia. She remembered the intense pain - she'd never forget that - and was all but certain she had just had surgery, thanks to the aches in her abdomen with every breath and movement. But why? Her appendix could have ruptured - that'd make sense.

She knew she was wrong the second he took her hand in his. House shook his head and gave her delicate fingers a light squeeze. "No, salpingectomy."

He saw the brief confusion register on her face. "A salpingectomy? I don't under-"

And then she instantly did. "I was pregnant."


	3. Chapter 3

Cuddy bit her bottom lip as she looked to House for confirmation of what she already knew in her heart to be true. When he nodded the affirmation, Cuddy closed her eyes tightly and took as deep of a breath as she dared with her newly stitched abdomen.

"Ectopic," House revealed. "The fetus caused the tube to rupture, and it couldn't be saved."

Cuddy attempted to close her eyes even tighter when she heard the diagnosis, the death sentence of her unborn child. But even with her eyelids sealed shut, a lone, betraying tear seeped out and down her cheek. At times in the past House had wondered if he even had a heart, but today he clearly knew he did. Because with one single tear, it had just broken into more pieces than he knew was possible. And he feared that even the best cardiologist in the world wouldn't be able to repair the damage done to it - let alone to Cuddy's.

The room was silent for a few minutes. House could tell Cuddy was still awake by the abrupt rise and fall of her chest, almost as though she was trying to stay in control of her own body and not release any emotion. He was at a loss. Did he try and hold her? Comfort her? Was this her way of telling him she didn't want to talk about it? He was terrible at things like this. Damn Wilson, he couldn't help but think.

Her voice finally brought him out of his internal quandaries. "I was pregnant…" she repeated softly, her eyes still closed as she still struggled with accepting and processing the information.

"Did you know?" The words left his mouth before he even had a chance to think about them. But truth be told, that fact was one he hadn't been able to _stop_ thinking about since he saw the condemning ultrasound himself.

But to Cuddy it was yet another blow she certainly wasn't expecting. She opened her watery eyes as soon as he asked and stared at him in absolutely shock. "Did I know?" she asked incredulously. "You think I knew I was pregnant and just kept it from you?" She could tell he was about to speak to defend himself, but his eyes offered her more truth than any words could ever convey. "You did," she cried, her voice cracking, in disgust, disbelief and heartache.

"Cuddy, no… it's not-" House began as he reached out for her hand.

She jerked her had away from him, causing more movement in her body than it would have liked. She winced slightly at the pain and House glanced at the monitors, noting her rising heart rate . "Careful…" he sad softly.

"Don't," she spat, the venom in her voice startling him. "Don't touch me. Don't act concerned. Just don't." When she stared into his confused and shocked eyes, she couldn't stop her tears any longer. Hot droplets ran down her face and she didn't even try to bat them away. She just continued doing the only thing she felt was right at the moment and lashed out. "No, I didn't know I was pregnant. And before you can even ask, yes, I was taking my birth control! I don't _get_ pregnant. I don't know ho-" she choked back a sob, trying her best to continue her tirade. "I don't know… I don't… I…"

House knew at this point her anger wasn't directed at him anymore. Without hesitation (nor the understanding of how he instantly knew what she needed - he'd have to question _that _later), House sat down on the bed beside Cuddy and pulled her into his arms. "Shhh…." he said as he tried to comfort her and not hurt her physically at the same time. He settled for rubbing small circles on her opposite shoulder and was pleased when she leaned into him rather than pulled away. "I've got you."

Cuddy continued to cry as she was pulled against his chest. Her tears were coming with such force that his T-shirt was wet within minutes. "Why?" she asked over and over, her voice muffled as he held her. Why did this happen to her? To them? Her body had struggled with getting pregnant for years now - even with the help of IVF. When she finally accepted it wasn't going to be and allowed herself to be happy and content with her amazing daughter and House, something like this had happened. She hadn't even realized she was pregnant, and that almost made it worse for Cuddy. She never had a chance to know and love her child before it was gone. And yes, she most definitely felt like she just had a child torn out of her body - not a fetus. It was her baby. No, it was her baby _with_ House.

She had dreamed of a blue-eyed baby with House for more years than she'd ever admit, to herself or anyone else for that matter. When she was struggling with IVF and finding donors all those years ago, she had desperately wanted to ask him, but she couldn't bring herself to it. Was it fear of his response? To this day, she still wasn't sure. By the time they finally decided to give their relationship a try she had Rachel, who was a dream come true. She was literally everything Cuddy had ever hoped for, and it didn't matter than she wasn't biologically related to the child. Rachel was _hers_ in every way that matter. Plus, she knew House well enough to know that he was uncomfortable with the idea of fatherhood. It took him months to even slightly warm up to Rachel. But he had. And she was content with her daughter and House. They were a family - an extremely unconventional family, but nonetheless a family in her eyes. She was so content with things that the prospect of another baby, a baby with _him_, had truly not entered her mind. If it was something she hadn't even been thinking about, she couldn't help but wonder how it was possible she could be hurting this much right now. She _ached_ the loss of their baby. Sure there was physical pain associated with her surgery, but she couldn't focus on anything except the stabbing pain deep inside her heart. "It's not fair…" she eventually whispered.

House had thought, and honestly hoped, that she would just cry herself to sleep. Her body needed rest more than anything right now, and there were no words of comfort _anyone_ could provide right now, least of all him. When he felt her sobs slowly stop and then heard the strained whisper, he laid her gently back against the bed. "I know." He didn't know what else to say. But she was right, nothing about this situation was fair - though he was fairly certain they were focusing on different things.

Cuddy wiped at her face as she looked over at him, her eyes hazy with exhaustion, pain and pure uncontrollable emotion. "What would have happened…" she stopped herself and bit down on her bottom lip momentarily before continuing. "What would have happened if it wasn't tubal?"

He knew immediately what she was asking, but just as she had done earlier when she lashed out in anger, he fell back on his own crutch. He deflected. "Well, we would have had to trade in your lacy thongs and the demi for maternity panties and a nursing bra." It was without a doubt the wrong thing to say, and he didn't even have to see the look in her eyes to know it. But he didn't know what else to do. He was still House. She was still Cuddy. People didn't change, even in extreme situations - and that meant he was likely to be an ass no matter what the circumstance.

"House…"

Her tone cut straight through him and he met her eyes. She looked defeated and broken, and her blue orbs lacked the usual spark that was rarely ever absent. For awhile they just looked at each other. The silence in the room said volumes to them both, but he finally took a deep breath and answered the only way he knew how. "I don't know," he said honestly.

Cuddy simply nodded. Her eyes closed slowly and this time House knew it was due to exhaustion. "I'm going to get you some more pain meds." She said nothing as he walked out, then returned with the numbing morphine and injected it into her IV port. If only it could numb the pain that wasn't physical.

After checking her vitals, House reclaimed his vacant seat and hesitantly took her hand. He released a deep breath as he felt her soft fingers tighten around his. "Just rest, Cuddy. We'll talk more when you wake up. Just rest for now."

And she did.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks again for the feedback, everyone! I have loved hearing your thoughts. Here is another H/C chapter. Forgive me if it seems too "sweet" for our beloved Dr. House, but these are irregular circumstances. I have most of the rest of this story mapped out finally and I'm so excited about what's to come. This beginning plot point is about to be over - but it's going to open a few more juicy ones! OK, enough from me. Back to H/C. - Katie

When Cuddy woke up the next time, many hours later, she was surprised by the darkness that engulfed her room. The sun had clearly set some time ago and the only light of any kind was coming from the monitors displaying her vital signs. She blinked as she slowly became oriented and then half a second later the memory of the morning and aftermath came crashing down on her. Almost subconsciously, Cuddy placed her hands on her empty stomach, then flinched as her still-fresh stitches made their presence known.

With a deep breath, Cuddy looked around the dark room as best she could. Her eyes quickly focused on a comforting - yet surprising - sight to her left. House. He was still there, sleeping awkwardly in the chair positioned right beside her bed and wearing the same wrinkled T-shirt and jeans as earlier. Had he left the hospital all day? She frowned at the telling pain lines written clearly all over his face then hesitated briefly, but knew it was for the best. "House," she called out, reaching to place a hand on his knee. "House, wake up."

He jolted awake and immediately, and almost frantically, asked, "What? What? Are you okay?"

"Shhh, I'm… I'm fine. But you're not going to be if you continue to sleep like that." Cuddy gingerly shifted her body over to make room on the bed next to her. "Come lay down."

He studied her, trying to read what her words weren't saying. On one hand, his leg was _killing_ him after the physical strain and emotional roller coaster of the previous day, but he didn't want to hurt her, at least in the one way he could control. "You sure?"

Cuddy silently nodded. He needed to get out of that chair, and in all honestly, she just wanted to be held right now. House wasn't much for comfort, but he'd lay down to avoid pain, and if she could lesson her own in return, all the better. She pretended not to notice how much more difficult than usual it was for him to pry his way up. But being House, he noticed that _she_ noticed. "I'm fine," he gently snapped. "Let's not forget you are the one in the hospital, not me."

She simply nodded again. It was easier to express her thoughts with gestures than words at the moment. And she certainly didn't have enough energy to verbally spar with him right now. House carefully laid down beside her, mindful of both her incisions and his own leg. Once he was situated, Cuddy inched her head over and pillowed it against his chest. "Thank you…" she whispered.

"For what?" he asked, instinctively wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"Being here."

House was silent. He couldn't help but think back to earlier that day, subconsciously rubbing a non-existent pill between his two fingers with the hand that wasn't around his girlfriend. And his only reply was a soft kiss to the crown of Cuddy's head as she traced small circles on his chest. Normal activities for their quiet nights in bed together, but they were both painfully aware that there wasn't anything normal about this evening. Eventually Cuddy spoke. "Rachel. Who's with Rachel?"

"Your sister."

Surprised, Cuddy craned her neck to try and look up at him. "You called Julia?"

"Wilson did. You know your sister hates me."

"You hate my sister," she corrected, then continued when House didn't (because he couldn't) correct her. "So she knows, huh? I bet that means mom knows too. Great. Just one more thing she can rub in my face that Julia does better than I do. Only my mother could use the fact that her daughter can't keep a pregnancy against her, and trust me, she will."

"No she won't," House interjected. "The evil version of you - your sister, not your daughter - has no idea why you're in the hospital. She just knows you're here and she needs to watch the kid. I made Wilson tell her you were admitted for exhaustion - which you now owe me $50 for - and demanded she keep mum to mom. Okay, maybe not demanded, this is Wilson we're talking about., but still, they don't know anything. Figured that should be up to you, seeing as how your family is nuts and all"

Cuddy was completely shocked. He'd taken care of Rachel and kept her family from the truth. She'd probably tell Julia herself, but the fact that House left that decision up to her really surprised her. She took a deep breath as she made herself comfortable as she could be. At least she didn't have to worry about dealing with Arlene right away. That was the _last _thing she needed.

"You'll probably be released in a day or two. They'll be no work for awhile, but don't worry, I'll be a model-Diagnostician for whoever tries to fill your crazy high -but very sexy - heels. People are always on their best behavior for substitute teachers and temp paper pushers. Wait, that's not how that goes…"

"I'll sign my own release papers. I'm going home tomorrow."

"And they say _I'm_ the stubborn one," he said as he rolled his eyes.

"It was a simple surgery, House. I'm fine. I know I'll need to have my hCG levels monitored and I'll need to take it easy for awhile. Whether you choose to believe it or not, I am an Endocrinologist. I know exactly what's going on in my body." And what wasn't there anymore, but she pushed that thought from her mind. "I'll be looking after myself and I'll have you there too. I'll be fine. I just… I just need to be home. I need to see Rachel and just…" She couldn't bring herself to complete the sentence. As much as she longed to just forget the past 24 hours ever happened, she knew that wouldn't be possible. This changed everything. They both knew it on some level.

Thankfully House pulled her back to the present with his typical, non-sympathetic-bedside-manner medical assessment. "Don't be stupid, Cuddy. You're staying until you've recovered enough to go home. The end. You may be a doctor, but I'm a better one and I'm not letting you out of here until you're ready."

"You're not my doctor, House. You're my boyfriend."

"Your boyfriend who happens to be a doctor. You're not the Dean, you're a patient. Suck it up and enjoy the Jello."

"You're infuriating sometimes. You know that right?"

"So I've been told. Who woke who up again?"

She ignored his attempt at normalcy, but did give into the argument. She wouldn't win, and she just didn't feel up to a continued fight - even if it _was _the most resemblance to "normal" she had felt since in the floor with him earlier that morning. "Fine," she sighed. "We'll see how I'm doing end of day tomorrow and make a decision then. But I want to see Rachel. Maybe Julia can bring her here…" a yawn interrupted her sentence, "…tomorrow morning."

"Go back to sleep, Cuddy. You may have a stomach full of stitches, but I'm still the cripple in this relationship and I need my beauty rest. So zip it and let me sleep."

For the first time since this nightmare began, Cuddy smiled into his chest. House felt it and kissed the top of her head again.

"I love you, House."

He held her a little closer as he whispered, "Damn. I left my Scrabble board by my other cane."

Cuddy laughed so lightly that House could only feel it, not hear it, then she closed her eyes. A few minutes passed and he was almost certain she was sleeping again. "I love you, too, Cuddy," he finally replied.

She heard him loud and clear - and it was the exact medicine she needed.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, Cuddy awoke with a chill. Slightly disoriented, she opened her eyes and immediately noticed the cause of her sudden need for a blanket. There was now a lack of body heat in the small hospital bed she occupied. Cuddy raised the head of the bed slowly, testing out just how much moving was going to cause her problems for the next little bit. The whole "doctors being bad patients" thing was especially true for one Dr. Lisa Cuddy. She hated not being in control, especially of her own body.

When she was finally as comfortable as she figured she could be, she took a second to look around the room. House was gone. No cane, no cell phone or wallet on the nightstand by the bed – he was simply gone. She felt a lump of disappointment make its way up her throat. Cuddy knew she shouldn't be surprised, but after all this time of dating him and especially the previous evening, she couldn't help it. Another shiver went down her spine, but this time it wasn't due to the temperature – she felt utterly and completely alone.

"Get a grip, Lisa," she told herself. _You're good at being alone. Hell, you thrive at it. It's just what you do… _She took a deep breath and rolled her shoulders, trying to gain as much control of the situation as she could. She knew House would flee. Hell, she was surprised he was even there last night. So why was this upsetting her so much? House wasn't here. Their child never would be… she just felt empty.

As a doctor, Cuddy knew her hormones were a mess today. She attributed the rush of surprising emotions to that and gazed out the window with a sigh. Suddenly she had an overwhelming urge to just go home. There she could force herself to forget the past 24 hours had even happened. There she _could_ be in control. With that, she braced herself for the pain getting up would surely inflict on her newly sutured abdomen and sat up completely in the bed, slowly swinging her legs over the side. She inhaled sharply and fought a strong wave of nausea. Once the room stopped spinning, she reached for her right hand, fumbling with the IV as she prepared to remove it.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" a voice bellowed from the doorway.

Cuddy had been so absorbed in her own thoughts she hadn't even heard the door open. She literally jumped, which certainly didn't help the pain from yesterday's surgery.

"Jesus, Cuddy," House exclaimed, before placing the coffee cups down and limping to her side. "Lay back down."

As soon as House was at her side, a nurse appeared in the doorway. "Is everything okay, Dr. Cuddy? I noticed the monitors—"

"It's fine," House snapped, gently lifting Cuddy's legs back on the bed and helping her lay back down.

"But-" the young nurse continued. In her defense, it was only her second week at PPTH. He had heard about Dr. House, but had never met him or experienced his wrath. She was just concerned about her patient, who also happened to be her boss.

"Get out," House barked, this time glancing at the doorway in full glare. That did it, and the nurse quickly retreated. House turned his attention back to Cuddy. Her eyes were squeezed tightly shut as she regulated her breathing. House glanced at the bedside monitors himself then grabbed hold of her wrist, trusting himself more than the machinery as he felt her pulse start to slow. "You need something to take the edge off?"

Her eyes remained closed, but Cuddy shook her head. "I'm fine," she assured him.

He didn't believe her, but refused to push it. If she wanted to be in pain, it was her choice. "What the hell were you thinking?" he repeated.

She opened her eyes, but refrained from looking at him. Instead, she glanced at her vitals herself, pleased they were returning to normal. "I want to go home," she answered simply.

"And I want you to go topless 24/7, but unfortunately neither of those things are happening."

She glanced over at him finally and could see this was a battle she wasn't going to win. Resigned, she changed the subject. "What are you doing here?"

He was thrown by that one. "What am I doing here? You do remember yesterday, right? Or do I have to worry about neurological symptoms now?"

She held his gaze, confused by _his_ confusion. "Of course I remember," she whispered. Though she desperately wished she could forget. "You weren't here when I woke up, so I…"

"Ahh…." he responded as it clicked like a light bulb had been turned on. "So naturally you thought I bailed." House motioned his head to the coffee cups he placed on her tray. "Coffee for me, tea for you." And he reached inside his coat pocket and pulled out a mini container of mouthwash he had purchased in the gift shop. "I didn't bail. I just didn't want to deal with your morning breath."

She didn't know whether to feel relieved he hadn't left, frustrated with and embarrassed by her own hormones, or guilty that she had immediately assumed the worst. Not surprisingly, he read her mind. "Don't beat yourself up, Cuddles. I'm surprised I'm still here too."

House was being honest, not deflecting, and she could tell. She grabbed his hand and lifted it to her lips. They were both silent for a few seconds as her gentle kiss lingered on his fingers. "My morning breath is nothing compared to yours, and we both know it," she smiled.

He rolled his eyes and handed her the tea, taking his own coffee in his hands for a needed sip of the caffeine. "Yup. You're definitely delusional. I'm going to get Forman in here for a consult." She rewarded his effort with a light laugh before taking a sip of her tea. "But seriously, Cuddy. What were you thinking earlier? You could have ripped a stitch or really hurt yourself. And for the record, I'm in no way able to haul your ginormous ass off the floor."

It was Cuddy's turn to roll her eyes. "Thanks. Just what every girl in a hospital bed wants to hear."

"Don't deflect. That's my job."

"Pain is natural after surgery. We both know that. I was just trying to get up. I want to get out of here. I can rest just as easily at home as I can here."

"Pain is normal, but you were green when I got in here. You don't need to be on your feet yet – and you especially don't need to try alone. But you know that. Don't be an idiot, Cuddy."

"Fine," she groaned. "Next time I get up – which will be today, because I'm going home – I'll make sure you're here. Happy?"

"No," he leaned forward and pecked her lips, "but that's better than nothing. Listen, I'm going to run back to my place, but I'll be back. Don't freak out and think I'm jumping state lines or something. I'm going to shower and get some things for the next week."

"The next week?"

"I figured I'd stay with you," he shrugged. "You'll need help with the kid and I want to monitor your recovery myself. If I'm staying at your place an entire week, I'm going to need more clothes and more porn."

"You don't have to do that, House."

"You don't have any girl on girl. Of course I have to do that."

She resisted the urge to glare, at this point rarely thrown by his ridiculous comments. "I mean you don't have to stay with me the entire time. I'll be fine. Or Julia can stay. Don't feel obligated…"

House cut her off with another kiss before grabbing his cane, ready to head out. "Shut up. I'm staying. Deal with it. You can't lift anything for at least a week, and that includes Rachel. Plus, I don't want her subjected to your demonic sister for that long. It's cruel and unusual punishment, even for the rugrat. See ya in a few hours. And NO getting up. I'll have you restrained if I have to."

Cuddy grinned. "You'd like that…"

With a wag of his eyebrows, House was out the door, leaving Cuddy alone again. But this time she knew he'd be back. She'd be okay. Perhaps _they_ would even be okay… She had to admit she was happy he wanted to stay with her the next week. Over the past few months he practically lived at her home and both she and Rachel had gotten used to it.

Rachel. Immediately, she reached over for her phone. She wasn't going to break her promise to House; she'd stay in bed and let her body heal more before attempting to get up again, but she wanted to see her daughter. She desperately needed to hear the word "mommy" right now, and Rachel could provide her that needed comfort.

Her home phone was picked up after the second ring. "Hey, Jules… it's me. Slow down, I'm fine. But can you come to the hospital? And bring Rachel."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: To make up for the crazy long hiatus, here is another chapter today. Thanks for sticking with this story and for feedback! Hope you enjoy. -Katie

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><p>Just as expected, the sight of her daughter did wonders for Cuddy's state of mind.<p>

"Mommmmyyyy!" Rachel squealed as she entered Cuddy's hospital room. She quickly started to squirm out of her Aunt Julia's arms.

A true smile made its way to Cuddy's face and she held her own arms out for her daughter. "Hey, baby. Come here." She reached for Rachel as Julia sat her down on the hospital bed. "Remember how you when you skinned your knee it hurt to touch it?" Rachel nodded, fascinated by all the medical equipment around her mother. "Well, mommy has a big owie on her tummy, so we have to be really still. Can you do that for me?"

"Lisa, what is going on?" Julia demanded, beyond frustrated at this point due to the lack of knowledge she had about this situation. Cuddy obviously wasn't in the hospital due to exhaustion.

"I'll tell you everything. Just give me a minute," Cuddy requested, completely focused on Rachel right now.

"Mommy hurted?" Rachel asked, her big brown eyes shining with worry.

"Just a little, but I'm going to be just fine, I promise. In fact, I already feel so much better just because you're here."

With that, Rachel's face lit up. "I make you better," she grinned and then as carefully as a three-year-old could, Rachel hugged her mother. Cuddy didn't even flinch as the movement indeed pulled her abdomen. This is all she wanted right now and she didn't give a damn if she tore every one of her stitches. She held Rachel close and shut her eyes, simply breathing in the scent of her daughter's freshly shampooed hair. Her daughter. Her child. She had Rachel and she always would. She tried to close her eyes tighter, but she couldn't stop a lone tear from seeping out.

Julia noticed and placed a concerned hand on her sister's shoulder. "Lisa you're scaring me." She tried to keep her voice calm for Rachel's sake, but the worry was clearly there. "What happened?"

Cuddy ran a hand over Rachel's hair then looked over at her sister. "I'm okay," she assured her. "I just had a little operation last night."

"Oh, my god. Why didn't anyone tell me? They said you were tired or exhausted or whatever!"

Cuddy glared at her sister. "Calm down," she mouthed, then nodded down at Rachel. She didn't want her daughter getting scared or upset. Once she was certain her point was made, she continued. "I didn't want you worrying." Sure, it wasn't exactly the truth, but it was easier than explaining House's reasoning right now. "It was a minor procedure. I'll be home tonight." She then heard House's annoying voice in her head and sighed, "or tomorrow. Regardless, I'm fine."

"Mommy come home?" Rachel asked, grasping to the one detail in the conversation she understood.

Cuddy smiled reassuringly. "Soon, I promise. But isn't it sweet of your Aunt Julia to play with you while mommy has to sleep here? I bet you guys are having so much fun."

Rachel nodded and then yawned. "Me tired," she admitted with a sheepish grin when her mother clearly caught her yawning. Naptime was usually a battle for the two of them, so Rachel actually fessing up to exhaustion was a big deal.

"She didn't sleep well last night," Julia offered.

Cuddy frowned and kissed the top of Rachel's head. "How about you nap right here with me then?"

"Stay here?" she questioned.

Cuddy understood the question and smiled. "Yes, sweetheart. Just go to sleep and you can stay here while you nap. I'll be right here when you wake up."

That was all the reassurance Rachel needed. She curled up beside her mom, keeping contact along the entire side of her little body. "Lub mommy," she whispered softly before falling asleep.

Cuddy couldn't stop the silent tears this time. "I love you too, Rachel," she whispered back, bringing a hand up to wipe her face.

Julia feared the worst. There was something her sister was obviously not telling her. "Lisa, talk to me…" she practically begged.

Cuddy took a second to gather her control then looked over at Julia. "I was pregnant," she admitted. Lisa and Julia had never been the best of friends, but they were sisters. No matter how much rivalry and petty jealously went on between the two, Cuddy loved and trusted her little sister. Julia wouldn't tell Arlene if Cuddy specifically requested it.

"Oh, Lisa…" Julia exclaimed, understanding instantly she had lost the baby.

"I don't want mom to know, Jules."

"But…"

"No. I can't deal with her right now. I can barely deal with this. I don't want her judgment on top of everything. Please…"

Julia was silent and then sighed. "Fine. I won't tell her. But I'm worried about you Lisa. I didn't even know you were pregnant."

Cuddy smiled sadly. "Neither did I." The confusion registered immediately on Julia's face and Cuddy noted it. "It was an ectopic pregnancy. I had no idea. House had no idea. My fallopian tube ruptured yesterday morning and I collapsed. They performed emergency surgery to remove the tube and the…." She swallowed before continuing, "the fetus."

Julia squeezed her sister's hand tightly. She knew what a struggle fertility had been for Cuddy. They rarely talked about it, but she knew. It had always been a tough subject, especially since Julia had been so blessed with three easy pregnancies and perfectly healthy children. "I'm so sorry, Lise."

Cuddy shrugged and looked away. "It is what it is. I can't change it. I wish I could just stop thinking about it." She glanced at down at Rachel, a beautiful reminder of what she had and, at the same time, what she lost. "I didn't even know about it," she whispered. "I don't know why this is affecting me so much."

"Because you lost a baby. It doesn't matter if you knew you were pregnant or not. It was your child."

Cuddy leaned her head back and let out a deep breath of air. "Yeah," she said softly, still not trusting her voice. Julia understood. It was comforting.

There were a few minutes of silence, neither sister knowing exactly what to say at the moment. Julia just continued to hold Cuddy's hand, offering silent support. "Where's House?" she finally asked.

"He went to his place to shower and get a few things. He'll be back soon."

"How's he taking this? I swear to God, if he's being an ass to you…"

Cuddy quickly cut her off. "He's not. He's being… well, amazing."

"So why are you about to chew a hole in your bottom lip? I'm your sister Lise. I know when you're not telling me something."

Cuddy glanced down and Rachel, snuggled beside her and sleeping peacefully without a care in the world. She brushed her daughter's bangs out of her face and then looked over at Julia. "He's really surprised me with this. He's being supportive, Julia. He held me all night, brought me my favorite tea this morning… he's even at his apartment right now getting enough stuff for the week. He wants to stay and help with Rachel. It's exactly what I want. But it's not… well, it's not House."

She was shocked at the words even as they made their way out of her mouth. Was she really complaining about House being there? Just a few hours earlier she all but panicked at the thought of him abandoning her. Of course she was happy he was there for her. This morning proved how much she _needed_ him right now. But there was something she couldn't put her finger on.

"It's almost like…"

"It's too good to be true?"

"Yeah." Cuddy said, and then shook her head, immediately angry with herself. "I can't believe I just said that. He's finally here and being the boyfriend I need him to be, and I'm doubting him. Again."

Julia rolled her eyes and reached out to rub her sister's arms. "It's not like he hasn't give you reason to. He's a jerk. You've been telling me that for how many years now? You can't expect him to change overnight."

"I don't!" Cuddy insisted defensively, disturbing Rachel's peaceful slumber. Cuddy kissed the top of Rachel's head and was grateful when her daughter settled back down. This time she spoke softer, but her tone remained the same. "I don't expect him to change. I don't _want_ him to change."

"I don't believe that for a second." Cuddy glared and Julia instantly retreated. After years of sibling disputes, the younger Cuddy knew exactly what _that _look meant and when to step back. "Fine," she said, holding her hands up like they were white flags. "You don't want him to change."

"I don't," Cuddy confirmed. She didn't want him to change, did she? No, of course not. She loved House exactly the way he was. Sure he was annoying, self-centered, crude and thoughtless sometimes, but Cuddy knew him better than anyone. And when he let her see his rare hilarious, romantic and actually kind side, her heart melted. Those moments were special. They were theirs. Sure he was an ass, but Cuddy saw a part of House that no one else did. And she liked it that way. She _didn't_ want him to change. Maybe that's why the past 24 hours had been so unsettling for her. While she needed and appreciated the comfort he was providing, it was almost disconcerting on some level.

What was she doing? Frustrated with herself, Cuddy pushed the thoughts from her head and decided to focus on being grateful that House was stepping up to the plate.

"I don't want to change him at all," Cuddy said once more, this time for her own sake. "I just wish…." Julia's heart ached as she saw the tears spring to her sister's eyes. True to form, Cuddy didn't let them fall. She reached up and wiped away the betraying droplets before they could even be released. "I just wish I could change the past 24 hours. I wish I could turn back the clock and make none of this happen. Things were finally good, Julia."

"Make none of this happen," Julia repeated, seeing an opening for the question she had stopped herself from asking since the moment she found out about the ectopic pregnancy. "You mean losing the baby…or being pregnant?"

Cuddy's mouth opened and then closed. She didn't have a reply. She looked at Julia, then down to her amazing daughter resting beside her. If she could go back in time and change things, would she have erased the pregnancy entirely? Or made sure it was viable? She knew her answer, but she wasn't ready to voice it to Julia or even herself. Instead, Cuddy leaned her head down and gently rested it on top of Rachel's. One arm was holding onto her child tightly and then other made its way around her painfully empty womb.

"_That's what I thought,"_ Julia said to herself silently.

* * *

><p>House stood outside of her room for at least five minutes. He simply observed from the window as Cuddy slept with Rachel curled up beside her doing the same thing. Julia was watching them too and hadn't even noticed him yet. Good. Julia was the last person he wanted to deal with right now. His eyes were glued on Cuddy. She wasn't sleeping peacefully, that's for sure. It was as though she was holding onto Rachel for dear life. He made note of her left hand clutching the brunette child, then his eyes drifted to her right hand, which was resting on her stomach, above where their kid would have been growing.<p>

House's own stomach sank. Just as it happened with so many of his cases, an epiphany hit him. He spun as quickly as his leg would allow and limped straight to Wilson's office. As usual, he barged in without knocking. Wilson was sitting at his desk and instantly looked up from his paperwork.

"House. What are- Is Cuddy okay? Did someth-"

House interrupted him before he could finish the question. "I've got a problem. Big problem."

His best friend audibly groaned and ran his fingers over his hair. "Did you find more vicodin? Dammit, House…"

House didn't even hear him. If he had, he'd have been pissed. Instead, he looked at Wilson with what could only be described as a look of fear. "Cuddy's going to want to have another baby."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Short chapter, but it will give you a little insight into what House is thinking right now. Next chapter, things are going to start moving forward a bit. Thanks again for the feedback, story alerts, etc. It's really giving this first-time writer needed encouragement.

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><p>House all but collapsed on the couch in Wilson's office. It had been a whirlwind 24 hours and he was already beyond exhausted, even after coffee, a fresh shower and the chance to go home for a short bit. And now…. What the hell was he supposed to do now? He couldn't get the telling image of Cuddy and Rachel out of his mind. Resting his head in his hands, he gently rubbed at his temples, a sudden headache pounding behind his eyes.<p>

"What do you mean Cuddy's going to want to have a baby?" Wilson questioned. The oncologist stood up himself and walked over to House, who oddly enough looked almost as upset as he had yesterday when Wilson found him observing Cuddy's surgery.

"I mean exactly what I said," House murmured, not opening his eyes.

Wilson was definitely having trouble following this conversation. Then again, he often had trouble when he came to immediately understanding chats with his best friend. "Did she tell you that?" he probed.

"Didn't have to."

"So you don't really know if Cuddy actually wants this. You're just hypothesizing."

House open his eyes, cocked his head to the side and gave Wilson one of his classic Housian looks. "Can it, Wilson. I know Cuddy better than Cuddy knows Cuddy. Trust me, she's gonna want a bun in that oven sooner or later, and considering neither one of us is a spring chicken anymore I'm going to guess sooner."

Wilson sat down in the chair beside House. "Okkkkaay," he began, the pieces slowly coming together. "Assuming you're right, which you may not be, let's say Cuddy wants to get pregnant again." There was a pause, which caused House to glance over at him - exactly what Wilson had wanted. House's eyes often spoke so much more than his words. "Assuming she wants a baby, what would you do?"

That was the question that had been looming in House's mind since… well, yesterday when he saw the condemning ultrasound that diagnosed the ectopic pregnancy. What would he have done had the fetus been viable? Had Cuddy been pregnant and carried to term, how would he have reacted? Would he have stuck around? Just the thought almost drove him to Vicodin the day before, so his answer was there, he just wasn't quite ready to dissect it.

Finally House sighed. "I don't want a kid," he admitted. Wilson knew that. He knew that. Hell, everyone knew House's stance on children. "I'm not… I'm not a father, nor do I want to _be_ one."

Wilson nodded and decided to continue his inquisition. He and House rarely had honest conversations like this, but House obviously wanted a serious talk or he wouldn't have come to him. And Wilson certainly wasn't going to decline this sudden invitation, especially after witnessing House almost relapse hours earlier. It was a good sign he was turning to Wilson and not the pill bottle right now. "But what about Rachel? You like her."

"There's a difference between like and tolerate. I tolerate the kid. I don't like her."

"Oh, c'mon. I've seen you with Rachel. Mind you, you did train her to act like a Golden Retriever, but you two have an odd connection. Admit it, House, you actually enjoy spending time with Cuddy's daughter."

It was then that House looked over at Wilson – and the fear in his eyes was palpable. He could never admit any of this to Cuddy. Hell, he could barely admit it to himself. His feelings scared him, especially since his relationship with Cuddy seemed so reliant on fatherhood all of a sudden.

"I don't," House confirmed.

And there it was. House was being brutally and painfully honest. It was a big reason this whole "baby" thing had freaked him out so much. Sure, House had become more comfortable around Rachel over the past months. They even bonded over perverted cartoons, much to Cuddy's chagrin. But House meant what he told Wilson: he could _tolerate_ Rachel now, but he didn't like her. And the possibility of loving her and being a father figure seemed completely foreign and unattainable for him.

"I really don't, Wilson. The kid isn't as dumb as I originally thought she was, but she's still a nuisance. I put up with her because she and Cuddy are a package deal. I get it. I accept it. Doesn't mean I like it or I want to add to that package."

Wilson just stared and listened. This wasn't just House being House; he was serious. "So…" he finally said, breaking the silence. "What are you going to tell Cuddy?"

House glanced at his friend, then leaned back against the sofa and focused on the intricate pattern featured on the ceiling. He was a brilliant diagnostician. He had the answer to just about any question posed. So much so that it was infuriating at times to his friends and colleagues. He could be a son of a bitch, but it was commonly known that Gregory House could solve just about any puzzle he faced.

But that wasn't the case right now. As far as House was concerned, this was a question that had no answer.

At least not a good one for anyone involved.

* * *

><p>Some time later, House finally returned to Cuddy's room. She was awake and both Rachel and Julia were missing. "Hey…" he said as he entered. She looked upset. "You okay?"<p>

"Elsberry came by for my post-op exam while you were gone."

"And?"

Cuddy frowned as she thought about the visit her surgeon had just made not 10 minutes ago. "You'll be pleased to know we agreed on me staying another night. But he's releasing me first thing tomorrow morning."

House started to reply, but Cuddy cut him off, a conclusion immediately coming to mind that she couldn't believe she hadn't thought of before. "Wait just a minute. You made sure Elsberry wouldn't release me, didn't you? You pulled one of your… your tricks."

House rolled his eyes. "As much as I'd like to take credit for this one, no can do. Though thank you for reminding me about those pictures I have of him and that redheaded, big-boobed nurse in ICU. I'd almost forgot about those beauties, and _that_ will certainly come in handy next time I need an OR."

"House," Cuddy replied sharply, obviously not in the mood for his antics.

He sighed. "I haven't even talked to Elsberry today, Cuddy. In case you forgot, I've been at my apartment." That wasn't exactly the truth, but House certainly wasn't going to tell Cuddy about his retreat to Wilson's office right now. Or ever.

He picked up her chart and glanced over the notes the surgeon had made. "How was your visit with Rachel?"

"How'd you know Rachel was here?" Cuddy curiously questioned.

House looked up from the chart and nodded at the stuffed bunny she was clutching. "You prefer toys with batteries, so I'm guessing that belongs to mini-you." He immediately recognized it as Rachel's annoying pink, germ-infested toy she refused to part with, but that wasn't worth stating.

Cuddy held the bunny tighter. She was still shocked that Rachel had given it to her. And the gesture still made her broken heart swell. "It's to make me feel better," she explained and watched as House placed her chart back at the end of her bed and sat down in the chair her sister had recently vacated. "I told Julia everything."

House nodded, then ventured away from the subject of "everything." Instead, he gestured to her chart. "He's right to keep you another night. Your vitals are back to baseline, but it's best to monitor for post-op infection here just a little while longer. You'll be home complaining about taking it easy and being forced to watch my soaps tomorrow."

She reached over and held her hand out. He glanced at it, then into her eyes before grasping hold of her petite fingers. God, he didn't want to lose her. He couldn't. But could he sacrifice his reality for her dreams?

"Tomorrow," Cuddy conceded. "I just can't wait to get home, put this behind us…. and for things to go back to normal."

House held her gaze for moment._ Normal. _He wasn't as certain as she seemed to be that was going to possible now. But he simply offered her a smile, squeezed her fingers and gruffly volunteered the reassurance he knew she was seeking.

"Yeah…"


End file.
